Alone or am I?

Any kind of surgery is the worst! I know of one experience, when my pet cat “Tomster” was in the operation theatre sedated as ice. I sat outside, tears rolling down my eyes. Couldn’t have lunch because of the anxiety, didn’t have the mental capacity to cook up something or even think of what to prepare! With a bottle of Thumbs Up and protein bars in my backpack, I waited silently, praying. Texting my friend “Love is not easy. Risk of loss is 100%. Love needs courage. It takes strength to allow yourself to be broken one day and build yourself all over again.”

But you know what? Love doesn’t have to make you feel lonely. I sat there all alone, with no soul around me, waiting for Tom, tears dropping and texting by dearest friends. I didn’t feel alone, for even a second. I was scared but not even once the thought “I’m alone, poor me” crossed my mind. I was sorrowful but I was content.

God Made This Real To Me

“So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10

My cat’s surgery is one of the most ‘adulting’ things I have done in my life! And oh boy, was it hard? It was terrifying! But it wasn’t like I imagined it would be, one bit. Few things that I realised through this experience.

1. God isn’t silent, but He is silently there beside me. Holding me while I feel all the human emotions that I’m meant to feel at that point.
2. God has placed people in my life who love and care for me. I’m truly not alone. Blessed is me who is surrounded by people who love and care for me.
3. I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. Truly, all things!

It’s one thing to say it out loud and another to experience it in my life.

So, alone or am I? I am not. Period.